No me gusta (neither do i jewsta): Being a third wheel

Well, i think u can assume what am i going to write about ohohoho, from the post title…

Disclaimer: i wasn’t a third wheel on purpose- i was forced into it!!!

+ i didn’t bother with my grammar or spelling, i type too fast and i never look at keyboard so sometimes u get words from me like somteimes 😀 but believe me, i’m not that stupid…and some words- i really don’t know how to spell but eah, i don’t care, u understand me- and that’s what matters ! :))  + i don’t do capitals- but i tried here- but also sometimes i forgot so 😀 please ignore…

So here it goes…Last 8 days( i came home 2 days ago actually, so 8 days before that) i spent in town called Crikvenica, which is located by the sea, and i used to spend in 10 days to 2 weeks for every summer since i was born, with my childhood friend  (who was later my elementary school friend 😀 and we’re still friends till now-lol :))… We used to go with our mothers who are very good friends… Sadly last few years since i’m traveling to egypt (2010)  i didn’t go to Crikvenica, and i felt bit guilty- as if i’m running away from the ‘tradition’ lol……So i’ve decided to make up for it, and told my friend that we should go, because it was very hot in Zagreb(the capital of Croatia aka where i live), and as sinful as it sounds- i got annoyed by my laptop- cos its kind of broken (and when i say kind of i mean that its screen is detached and is living it’s last moment hanging onto a few wires, so it kind of (totally) transformed into a personal computer eh :D, also the ventilator sucks last few years and makes some hard core Darth Vader noises, and to top it off – after being on for only half an hour (make it 5 minutes) u can bake a lamb on it… so yeah- it’s kind of broken)… I was also pissed of cos my plans to go to Egypt for least a month kind of (totally) won’t come true, so i just wanted to remove from everything, depression and all (boohoo what problems i have … people r dying in Africa, yeah i know).

And like few days after i made a deal with my friend to go, she said her boyfriend would come as well and i agreed on it. I mean, what can i do, i lied to myself i wont be a third wheel (also known as -further ‘aka’- as a candle holder) … but little did i know…

So i wont spill out too many details, cos you know, my friend understands English, despite the fact she is a total blond, lol, and she might bump into my blog (i highly doubt it, she’s that type of person that doesn’t know how to zip a file, or how to use torrent), but even if she would read this, i told her much worse things personally- so yeah 🙂

I won’t bother with describing it too much, and i know u can imagine it, but basically  being a third wheel pretty much consists of watching people cuddle, hug, touch, kiss next to you… doing everything in time when they agree too- not having any free will, feeling left out, feeling like u’re just bothering them…

And i kind of felt only used so her mum doesn’t find out she’s with her boyfriend, we were the ones who agreed to go to sea originally and he came after, so one might think we should spend the most of the time together… but no oh…

when i told her i want to go back to Zagreb earlier, she acted like she can’t understand why, and when i explained (and, believe me, i did explain honestly as i could not to insult her (too much)) she told me she doesn’t want me to feel this way and tried to convince me to stay…telling me things in such way i thought things would change but they didn’t… i Spent 100 euroes in 8 days (of which 11 were spent on bus ticket), and trust me, that’s a lot cos i’m a ‘jew’ and i save every penny- i would be like this even if my parents were those who gave me money, but now that i work it’s one more reason, cos i really get nothing from no one, not even clothes, i even buy groceries for home sometimes lol, so really every penny counts… And u know, if i had great time, i wouldn’t feel sorry for this money at all, but now i regret it so much, it makes me 100 euros away from my real dreams, and things i really want…but then again i can look at it as a learning process- that i payed for 100 euros- to learn that i never go on a vacation ever again with a couple- or allow my friend to take her boyfriend if i go without mine…

Ohhhh, btw,  i forgot to tell u, the last day of our vacation (actually the day before last for us(last for her bf)-cos our parents came the last day to pick us up)- was the first day of Ramadan… Which i fast for the, oh i think 4th year so far now… I don’t know how many of you (of you so many people that read my blog lol, thank you Filip) are familiar with this fast, but pretty much for whole month of Ramadan, from the sunrise to sunset- u must not eat, drink, smoke and even have sex (if u r married, cos we non married do not have sex khm khm) … soooo i fasted- and my friend knew it… but before i continue i need to tell u- that i wanted to cook more days cos its a) sparing money thats wasted outside, and i love to cook… but cos of the schedule they put me up with, and far away beach we were going to, i wasn’t able to do this… so i fast- and what a day my friend chose to coke- i was suffering cos i didn’t prepare for fasting good- didn’t eat before sleep, and i felt very dehidrated…and she tells me- i’m going to go to market so we can make lunch, it will be great..i look at her and tell her- i can’t eat, and she’s like why? and i’m like i told u yesterday… and she’s like ooooh… but as i was polite i also said – its okay u may eat… and boy did they eat… one of my favorite things, chicken in white sauce with pasta, salad…juices… everything, and not on balcony as we usually do- but on table next to me in living room… 😀 ohhh and in the end they argued about last peace of meat cos noone could eat, and all i was thinking please shut up- and why don’t u think with ur head and leave it for me for later( i was too shy to say) cos u know- u can heat up things in sauce even without microwave (well i can heat everything without mw cos i don’t own one lol) …

I know it wasnt direct attack on me- but i find it bit unfair- i ate all days- and she knew of my fast- so if you could eat out every day- why couldn’t u do this day as well…  it made me even more depressed, and really, usually i’m used to it and not that hungry, but the first day is always so hard, this made it just thus more harder…

So yea, these were pretty much one of the worst 8 days i had in a very long time … and it makes me feel even worse that i didn’t go to Egypt, cos i know i’d have a perfect time there…especially in Ramadan with everyone fasting and all these nice food for iftar ( when u break fast)…  but what can i do..my boyfriend should come here in September… though its so hard to organize- he has so little vacation days, and i have some college obligations in September, and i don’t know correct dates when i’ll need to be in Zagreb to tell him when to come :(… but hopefully everything will turn out good…and then i’ll go there in December, and finally visit south Egypt -which is like mission impossible in summer – cos temperatures there go above 50°C so yeah… South Egypt (Upper Egypt) is very interesting cos of these amazing temples that r located in Luxor, and there are some other amazing places such as Asuan  (you must have heard of Asuan water-gate), so yeah i’m looking forward to that… isA (God willing) everything will turn out good…

I’ll stop typing here cos, unwillingly, i always type too much 😀 i am not even aware of it so i guess it’s time to say goodbye lol 🙂

Lot of love, be blessed, xoxo

Neli 🙂

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About nelisaracen

Hi there :) It's so hard to write about myself, considering the fact i really like to talk A LOT :), and my life has been really- different/interesting/weird last years... Now i'm balancing between two very different cultures / worlds...convincing people i'm not crazy and so on :) Oh and i love football. Enough? :) enough.
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